Due to snow making last school year two weeks longer, and my sweet state of Arkansas making next school year start one week sooner, my summer is…lacking. So I gotta make the most of these days! These super hot days.
Here are some things I need to accomplish before my principal stands on the front stoop of the school house and rings the bell.
1. Spend the whole day without the internet. I suspect this will involve me, a straight-jacket, and lots of drooling. Detox is hard, I hear.
2. Read a classic. I was an English major and was force bed a lot of classics and have been burned out ever since. I have read pretty much nothing but fluff once I graduated many moons ago. It’s probably time to forgive my professors, make peace with a dusty tome, and read something that doesn’t involve kissing. Then again, as my fellow rebel teacher friend Rhonda says, “Life’s too short to read old, dead white guys.”
3. Get through the summer without turning some part of my body into a burn unit catastrophe. I have a skin color called So White I’m Invisible. I have to get my sunscreen from the a secret operative of the military, and sometimes it just doesn’t all work out, and at least some portion on my person will be char-broiled. But this summer…this summer’s gonna be different.
Because I’m wearing my snow suit.
4. I’m going to get the skunk stripes out of my hair. These would be the skunk stripes that were supposed to fix the Priscilla Luvs Elvis black hair. I can’t talk about it.
5. Go to my workout class 3x a week. See, this thing involves me getting up at 4:30. Do you know what time people who have the summer off go to bed? Like 2:58. The two do not blend well. If I go to my workout class, I usually roll in like I’ve spent the entire night with a keg, an F4 tornado, and the mechanical bull from Urban Cowboy.
6. I will go to bed on time at least once. See above.
7. I will mentally prepare myself for the last Potter movie.
8. I will take my niece and nephew to the drive-in movie where mosquitoes will eat my So White I’m Invisible flesh while constantly repeating, “I am a good aunt. I am a good aunt. I am a good aunt.”
9. Eat better. I just made myself eat two cups of carrots and it was WONDERFUL!!! Who needs cheeseburgers? (Okay. NO. It wasn’t wonderful. At Carrot No. 10, I broke into pitiful sobs. “Why can’t I have a Snickers? WHY?!!”)
10. Read one of the MILLION books I’ve downloaded into my Kindle that were free. No time like the present to jump into the book How Trans-Fats and Vampires Killed Abe Lincoln.
Here’s to a fabulous summer to us all!
Jenny B. Jones is an award-winning author who writes romantic comedies for both women and teens. When she’s not writing, she’s living it up as a high school speech and creative writing teacher. When she’s not doing that, she’s binge Facebooking and financially and nutritionally supporting Ben and Jerry’s. Her next release, There You’ll Find Me, a YA from Thomas Nelson, releases October 2011.